Silence

Silence can mean so many things to us. And the cause of silence can often be a contradiction. Sometimes it's a sign that something fearsome is off in the distance. Sometimes it's a sign that there's peace in the world. For me, it's a little bit of both.

There is a lot of peace in our home and in my life today. That's why I haven't posted to the blog. There's not a whole lot to say. Bea is doing really well. Actually, she seems to have improved a bit in the last week. Her appetite is really up. The hair at the base of her neck is growing back. Her energy and attention can last almost all day. She's doing remarkably well.

Lewis is becoming a little boy and growing out of some of his toddler behaviors. Not all of them, but enough to notice that he's growing up, too. And, he spends most of his time at home playing with Bea and everything is pretty normal.

Chris and I are talking more again. We spent a time living in the same space but doing what most due in terrible situations... we were just surviving. We were unified but often just in terms of the space we occupied. We're coming together again and it's reassuring that we can go through so much and still find and need each other.

And, so, I fell silent. You see, to come to this blog means that I'm thinking about Bea's illness. The illness is present, no doubt. But, the ever present and overwhelming worry is not. I don't know if it's a matter of getting used to our new life. I don't know if it's because she's just so healthy and normal right now (I always add "right now" whenever I speak of Bea's health). I don't know. But, the silence feels really, really good.