There are lots of moments everyday when I think of Bea. Sometimes they make me sad. Other times and, honestly less often, they lift my spirits. And then there are those singular moments when you recognize a shift in your person and know that that moment changed you and her from then on.
This little story is one of those moments. And it is one of the best examples of what a parent's love can do for a child that I can share.
It was early morning and Lewis was at summer camp. So, it was just me and Bea at home. I don't remember what was scheduled for the day but I do recall that it was summer. School hadn't started and she was still very active. But she was not well enough to go to camp anymore.
Bea had a headache. This wasn't unusual and so I gave her Tylenol to take the edge off and hopefully take it away. Bea was tired of headaches and became very impatient when the Tylenol didn't work quickly. She yelled "I have a headache" over and over and was very upset that I couldn't fix it.
I moved to sit next to her, took her face in my hands and said something to this effect: "Mommy never ever wants you to hurt and I don't like that you have headaches either. I am doing EVERYTHING I can to make you feel better because I love you so much. And sometimes I can't do better but I am doing my best."
It was a spontaneous little speech and I didn't think it would make her feel any better.
It did. She relaxed and her headache eventually went away. I remember feeling how important her trust was for me to care for her and knowing that I could never break that trust.
She trusted me completely. She knew I would care of her and make her feel better when she didn't feel good. Bea let me heal and soothe her the best way I knew how and, wow, what a gift that was.